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Relationship issues with Gold Kakeyere: Helpful hints on avoiding disagreement (Part 1) Contact 07018880628

In relationship sometimes, your partner may do something you don’t like because nobody is perfect. And whether born again, holy or not both of you are going to have disagreement sometimes.
 The ways you handle your conflict in your relationship determine the success of your relationship. Not handling conflict well might make you want to break up a good relationship. There are some things to minimize disagreements and also help work out your differences.
1.    AVOID ASSUMPTION: Assumptions have been known to kill an otherwise good relationship when you have doubt about your partner’s intentions. Give him or her the benefit of the doubt and allow the situation to become clearer, better still you can ask him or her in a peaceful and loving manner. The Bible says in Prob 15:1 a soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
2.    AVOID REFERRING TO THE PAST: Don’t be like the archaeologist that lives by digging up the past. This is certain to trigger conflict, every human being has an aspect of his or her past that is undeniable, and if your partner has shared his or her with you, this is an act of love and trust for it will not do your relationship any good. You will do well not to revisit such incidents or keep referring to past mistakes let the dead remain dead, always remember that there has to be a leaving before there can be a cleaving. If you can’t leave the past alone, you may not be able to cleave to your partner successfully.
3.    AIM AT RESOLVING NOT WINNING: You should not see your partner as a separate person, the two of you are supposed to be one. If you understand this, then the competitive stance in arguments can be avoided. Have you ever struggled to beat yourself or push yourself aside? Besides if you win an argument with your partner who will you tell the victory story? You do not deserve a handshake or award, as you have just shot yourself on the leg. Let your chief aim in any argument with your partner be how to resolve the matter. Avoid concentrating on winning, for this will only create further strife and resentment between you.
4.    MAKE TIME TO TALK: Leaving issues unresolved lead to a buildup that could be explosive. Make time to talk to your partner, communicate. See what has been bugging him or her and hit the matter on the bed. If you are too busy to speak sometime for quality communication with your spouse, you will soon have all the time in the world with nobody to share it with, when he or she gets frustrated with your presence.
5.    BE WILLING TO MAKE UP:  Always be willing to make up, no matter who is at fault or what caused the disagreement. Show this by your attitude towards your partner. Some people, once there is a misunderstanding in the house, they go about wearing long face, thereby putting a brick wall between themselves and their partners. This is wrong. The Bible says in Probs 19:11 the discretion of a man deferreth his anger even in troubled situations, be the peacemaker, still call your partner by his or her pet name and talk to him or her with kind words. What you have is misunderstanding not a war. If you treat it like a war then that is the real conflict, and not the resolved issue.
6.    DO NOT ACT OR SPEAK WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY: You have probably heard people say that if you speak when you are angry, you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Saying things out of annoyance could spark off conflicts and this has the potential of creating a situation worse than what I say that is tantamount to killing a fly with a sledge hammer. When you are angry, your feelings have probably been hurt in some way, but do you have to hurt someone else to soothe yourself? Two wrongs cannot make a right. Take time to cool off, and say something nice.

7. DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR PARTNER’S VULNERABILITY: Your partner can afford to be vulnerable in your presence if he or she trusts you. However, if you attack him or her with the things you know when you need to make a selfish point or gain an upper hand in an argument or conversation, you are courting disaster. Conflicts can erupt in this way. If your partner cannot be vulnerable in your presence, then your relationship is not worth the time of the day. I believe these hints are very helpful in avoiding disagreement in your relationship and resolving issues with your partner.

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